


Done being strong

by seektheinfinite



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Communication, Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 18:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10168736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seektheinfinite/pseuds/seektheinfinite
Summary: After the episode tonight Robert doesn't know how to get through to Liv so he turns to the only other person in the village raising a teenage girl, Laurel.He wants to thank her for making him feel that he’s not entirely useless; that it’s not just him that struggles with understanding the mind of a female teenager. But at the same time, he wants to scream because he’s still not got an answer to the problem. He’s still no further forward in finding out what happened between Liv and Aaron at the prison today.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something for tonight's episode because I so badly wanted them to talk. After speaking with a few people on tumblr about the Laurel and Robert interaction we're going to get next week I realised there was a real lack of it, and I needed to see more so I wrote it. I'm just really enjoying playing with different characters that I haven't written before.

“Who could that be at this time?” Sandy queries from his position in the arm chair, watching as Laurel makes her way from the kitchen to the front door.

“Oh, Robert, hi” She’s surprised to see Robert Sugden standing on the other side, looking more than a little dishevelled. “Um, Liv’s not here, she was out with Gabby earlier though. I can see if Gabby knows where she is.”

Robert shifts nervously, feet shuffling on the spot, hands in his pockets. “No, it’s okay. I’m not here for Liv, she’s at home, supposedly doing her homework. It’s you I’ve come to see?”

“Me?” Laurel can’t hide her surprise at the unexpected admission. She wonders what he could possibly want with her; it’s not as if they’ve ever really spoken aside from when they’ve been around Liv and Gabby. But she can’t leave him standing on the doorstep like this, even if she wanted to her curiosity gets the better of her. “Um, sure, come in. I’ll stick the kettle on.”

Robert makes his way past her into the living room, stopping short when he sees Sandy grinning at him from the chair. He thinks then that he’s made a mistake, in coming here, seeking advice from Laurel. She’s got enough on her plate without helping him out.

“You know, I, this was a mistake. I’m just gonna go and…” He’s barely had time to turn around before Sandy is shouting at him.

“Nonsense my boy. Don’t go anywhere, come in, sit down. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, Laurels a great listener.” He’s manoeuvring himself out of the chair now, grabbing the glass of whisky from the table beside him. “If it’s old prying ears listening in you’re worried about, I can make myself scarce for a while.”

Robert looks from Sandy to Laurel, before settling on Sandy once again. “I,” he doesn’t really know what to say, so he settles for a simple “thanks”

“No problem dear boy,” Sandy calls over his shoulder as he shuffles past, before making his way up the stairs and out of earshot.

“Sit down.” Laurel indicates the sofa as she makes her way to the kitchen. “Tea or coffee?” Popping her head around the corner, she looks him up and down before adding, “you look like you could use something stronger but I don’t keep any in the house, sorry.”

He hasn’t moved from his spot half way into the living room, still doubting what he’s doing here. “Oh, erm, coffee please. I’m already not sleeping, so more caffeine isn’t going to do any harm.”

He can’t help but wince as Laurel gives him a sympathetic smile, before turning back to the kitchen to prepare the drinks.

“Robert.” The next thing he knows Laurel is stood next to him, coffee in hand. She’s looking at him as though he’s a wounded animal; one false move and he’s going to spook and run. But then that’s pretty accurate right now, because his mind wants to run, even though his body is rooted to the spot.

Mentally shaking himself, he plasters on the fake smile that he’s become so good at in recent weeks before replying. “Sorry, daydreaming.”

Laurel takes a seat on one of the sofa, not saying anything, she’s just waiting. Patiently waiting for him to spill all and reveal that he has no clue what he’s doing. Well, she doesn’t know that of course, but Robert does. He’s in way over his head with all of this and everything feels like it’s spinning out of control.

Forcing himself to move, he perches on the edge of the sofa, as far away from Laurel as he can possibly get. He’s started trying to keep people at a distance, worried that like Vic, they’ll see right through him, see that cracks are appearing in his foundations, and they’ll want to try and repair him. It won’t work, he knows it won’t; not until Aaron’s home.

“I er, I’m sorry for bothering you but I thought you’re probably the best person to talk to about this.” He rubs his thumb absently along the side of the cup, enjoying the warmth that seeps into his skin and just for a second he feels something other than numb. “I mean you’re the only other person I know trying to raise a teenage girl. Of course, there is Bernice, but well she’s hardly the poster girl for how to raise a child.” He couldn’t help but smile slightly at the thought of going to Bernice for advice on parenting.

“Well yes, you have a point there.” Laurel chuckled, “but I’m not sure that I’m the best person to be speaking too either. Gabby and I have been, well we’ve not had the best of relationships at times, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”

Robert’s eyes flick around the room nervously, looking anywhere but at Laurel, before he replies. “I know, it’s just I literally have no clue what I’m doing right now. Liv’s not okay and I don’t know how to get through to her.” He shrugs slightly, before looking down at the floor in front of him; he needs to look anywhere but at Laurel, because he knows he’ll lose his nerve and wimp out if he sees the concern and compassion that he knows she’s going to be showing him. “I promised Aaron I’d look after her while he was away, and I feel like I’m failing. Teenage boys, I have experience with, but girls, they’re so much more complicated. I can’t mess this up.”

Laurel sighs softly, before he feels her shuffle along the sofa beside him, placing a gentle hand on his knee. “I wish I could give you all the answers, but the reality is that there is no manual that you can pull out when things get tough.”

Robert can see her leaning forward now out of the corner of his eye, placing her coffee mug on the table. “The important thing is to remind Liv that you’re there for her, and that she can talk to you.”

He’s nodding his head now, because he knows all of this, he’s trying his hardest to make Liv feel safe, secure with him, he doesn’t know what else he can do at this point, and he needs to do something because sitting back and watching his family fall to pieces like this is just not an option.

He promised Aaron that he would look after Liv, and he is not going to fail him again; not over something this important. He can feel the tears welling up now, and in all honesty, he doesn’t care anymore. There’s nothing he can do about it, seems that all he does these days is cry.

“I’ve tried everything I can think of to get her to open up to me, but if she doesn’t trust me enough then what can I do.” He shrugs, hates feeling defeated like this but he’s honestly lost.

Laurel huffs a little, before giving him a slight smile. “Teenage girls are a law unto themselves. They will hate you one minute and love you the next. You have to trust that she will come to you, when she’s ready.” Giving his leg a reassuring squeeze, she adds, “just make sure that you’re listening when she is ready to talk.”

Robert feels deflated, he’s not sure what he was hoping for coming here, talking to Laurel but he’s certain that it wasn’t this. He wants to feel grateful that she’s taken the time to give him advice and to be understanding. He wants to thank her for making him feel that he’s not entirely useless; that it’s not just him that struggles with understanding the mind of a female teenager. But at the same time, he wants to scream because he’s still not got an answer to the problem. He’s still no further forward in finding out what happened between Liv and Aaron at the prison today.

Instead he settles for a smile; the fake, plastic kind that he can peel off as soon as he’s out of Laurels line of sight. He smiles and nods, and thanks her for her help before he’s making his way back up to the pub; and Liv.

 

~~

Liv’s hidden away in her room when he gets back, no doubt not doing her homework. He considers just leaving her and waiting it out, but something in the back of his mind tells him not too. So, he decides to give it just one more try; if she doesn’t open up this time he’ll drop it and hope that she’ll feel okay enough to come to him.

Standing outside her bedroom door, just about to knock he’s stopped by a sound coming from inside. Liv’s crying; not quite tears but great heaving sobs, it sounds like her heart is breaking and it’s breaking his just to listen.

He knocks quickly before he can think twice about it, before pushing the door open when he gets no answer. He finds Liv curled up in a ball on the floor, knees drawn to her chest, back resting against the bed, eyes puffy and red from the tears. She’s making no attempts to stop them either, which is unnerving. It’s just another thing that Liv has in common with her brother; she cries easily, but she’s always trying to hide it, doesn’t like people to see her vulnerable like this.

Robert doesn’t bother saying anything, instead he’s kneeling on the floor beside her, pulling her into a tight embrace. They stay like that for he doesn’t know how long, rubbing his arm up and down her back, trying to offer what little comfort he can against whatever this is.

“Mm sorry,” Liv mumbles into his shoulder, once she’s able to regain some control over her emotion.

Robert squeezes her a little tighter at that, “don’t be silly. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

He’s watching her now as she’s biting the inside of her lip. She’s obviously working her way up to saying something, so Robert decides to just wait her out patiently.

“I do.” She’s looking at him with an expression filled with regret, and worry and it’s doing nothing to calm Robert’s nerves. “I lied to you earlier, about Aaron.”

He nods, smiling slightly at her admission. “Yeah, I figured as much. But I didn’t want to push you.” He shrugs slightly, before adding, “I knew you’d tell me in your own time.”

“I was going to tell you earlier but Vic said you’ve got enough on right now. I didn’t want to add to it.” Liv’s fiddling with the corner of her hoodie, flicking the zip backwards and forwards, anything to try and hide her shaking hands.

Robert’s expression clouds over at that, the thought that Liv has been torturing herself with this secret, whatever it is and he could have been helping her through it. He loves his sister, he really does but he’s going to have to speak to her about not interfering where Liv is concerned. He doesn’t care how much he’s got on, or how bad he’s feeling, if there’s something wrong with Liv he needs her to feel comfortable coming to him about it.

“Don’t be mad at her.” Liv must see something in his expression, because she’s quick to defend Victoria. “She was just trying to help. She’s worried about you; so am I.” She adds, voice trailing off at the end so it’s barely audible.

“I’m fine.” Robert says it too quickly, and he knows it as soon as it’s out. Liv’s not stupid, as much as he can see through her, he knows that she can see through him too.

“Yeah,” she scoffs, “this coming from the person who’s sleeping on the sofa.”

“I,” Robert starts, automatically going to deny the allegation, a defence mechanism. But then he’d be a hypocrite to sit here and tell her that she can talk to him, when he won’t open up to her about his own problems. “It’s a big bed, and it feels empty without Aaron.” He admits, the words flying out before he has a chance to change his mind and pull them back in.

“Aaron’s doing drugs,” is Liv’s equally rapid reply. The words hang in the air around them, suddenly the room is too small, claustrophobic. The silence that follows is deafening.

“Thank you for telling me.” Is the only reply that Robert gives before he’s standing up and making his way down the stairs. He doesn’t stop at the door to the backroom, instead grabbing his car keys. He’s not wearing any shoes or a jacket but that’s the last thing on his mind.

He’s making his way through the car park, body on autopilot, before he finds himself sliding into the driver’s seat of his car. He sits for a second, numb, before it all comes rushing out in one explosive burst.

His fists are flying against the steering wheel, smashing over and over with as much force as he can muster. He’s vaguely aware that he’s yelling, probably disturbing half the village but he just can’t seem to bring himself to care enough to stop.

What’s the point of caring anymore? It’s clear that Aaron has given up, given up on the appeal, given up on himself.

Maybe he should just give up too.

**Author's Note:**

> As always thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and you can always find me on tumblr @beyondthebridge if you fancy a chat.


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